The Glass

the glass is thick but still I place my hand upon the pane
the world whizzes by like a galaxy of shooting stars
my head spins, reeling from the flurry of sound and light
shrinking to the dark that tends the fear
singing to myself of times gone by and things that used to be
now fade away like the wisps of fog on the horizon
still in the sadness, safe behind the glass
etched with memories and pain
alone in the sadness, safe behind the glass
and if I had to choose,
more prison than cocoon ~

Copyright ©2011 Angela Schofield

Fast Food - Yuck!

For some God-awful reason I was craving McDonald's tonight. I haven't eaten fast food in months and I haven't had McDonald's in much longer. The meal is sitting like a lead balloon in my stomach. I want to do my yoga but I'm afraid if I do I'll up-chuck. What was I thinking?? Never again! No more fast food unless it's the healthy menu options.

In other news, aside from tonight's indulgence, my weight loss program is progressing nicely. It looks like I'll make my goal well before the end of the year, unless I hit a stubborn plateau. But I think if I just keep doing what I'm doing and don't give up you could see a slender Angela by summer. Well, perhaps I'll post a pic so you can see. I wish I would have taken a good before photo. Oh well.

What's meant to be will be

I had to remind myself of that tonight. Some things are out of my hands and beyond my control and I just need to let the chips fall where they may. Difficult to do when your heart is hurting and you want something so badly but it's out of your reach. Which reminds me, I was at the grocery store the other day and really wanted these gummy fruit snacks but they were high up and far back on the shelf. I stretched on my tippy-toes but there was no way I could reach them. I felt frustrated and gave up on the damn fruit snacks. Later on I was glad I did because they were pure sugar and high fructose corn syrup and I'm trying to stick to a healthy diet. So maybe this thing I want so badly right now, maybe there's a reason I can't reach it. Maybe it would turn out to be bad for me if I ever got it. Hey, whatever makes me feel better. I can put myself out there but ultimately, what's meant to be will be.

Favorite Songs

Engraved on the back of my iPod:

"Music is an outburst of the soul"

I don't recall who said it but the quote stuck with me. I've been listening to a lot of music lately and compiling a mental list of my faves. So, based on the intensity and duration of my fondness, here are my favorite songs in no particular order. These are all I can think of right now, I know there are more out there.

Bittersweet - Big Head Todd and the Monsters

Tell it Like it is - Aaron Neville

Say - John Mayer

America’s Suitehearts - Fall Out Boy

Let it Be - The Beatles

At This Moment - Billy Vera & the Beaters

At Last - Etta James

A Change is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke

Awake - Josh Groban

The Prayer - Celine Dion and Josh Groban

Float On - Modest Mouse

Free Fallin’ - John Mayer

I’m Yours - Jason Mraz

Kiss - Prince

Video - India Arie

Realize - Colbie Caillat

Remember When it Rained - Josh Groban

Sunday Kind of Love - Ella Fitzgerald

Stormy Weather - Ella Fitzgerald

Yellow - Coldplay

If You Don’t Know Me by Now - Simply Red

Angel - Sarah McLachlan

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

Dream On - Aerosmith

I Love You for Sentimental Reasons - Nat King Cole

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

Summertime - DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince

La Tortura - Shakira Feat. Alejandro Sanz

It's in His Kiss - Betty Everett

Danny's Song - Kenny Loggins

Life's Railway to Heaven - Patsy Cline

Mad World - Tears for Fears (and Adam Lambert's version)

P.S. To shorten the list I left off classical music. But I just realized these are mostly slow songs; I must be getting old. Oh well!

Haiku of the Day

take all life gives you
a king in this life can be
a fly in the next ~

(Just a random Google image)

Quote of the Day

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is one of my favorite MLK quotes. I see tragedies like the recent shooting in Arizona and feel our nation is spiritually and morally bankrupt. It has happened slowly over time and we are still heading in the wrong direction - reaching for money, power, and global dominance when we should be striving for peace and equality within our own country. Today, the day we observe the great Dr. King’s birthday, is a great day to reach out to our fellow man with love and acceptance. What better way to honor Dr. King? In fact, let’s just act like every day is his birthday.

Haiku of the Day

 

gravity holds us

but wonder keeps us reaching

for starry heavens ~

(Just another random Google image)

Update

So here's a candid look at my weight loss progress. Because I'm bored and like most people these days I tend to over-share. In August of 2010 I weighed 245lbs. (I've been hovering around 240 for quite a few years now.) Today I weigh 212lbs. My goal weight is 165.  That will be a pretty healthy weight for me. When I break the 200 mark it will be the first time since graduating from high school that I weigh less than 200lbs! That's mind-blowing for me.

It's funny, people always ask me how I'm losing weight, as if I possess some secret that will help them. There's no secret and it isn't complicated, just burn more calories than you take in every day. That's the only way to burn stored up fat. I just cut down on how much I eat, I do cardio and weights 3x a week and practice yoga almost every day. If you want to lose weight you just have to start living healthier, but the trick to that is wanting to do it. Willpower and perseverance will only get you so far. For a permanent lifestyle change you have to really want it. I really feel this is a permanent change for me, not just some phase I'm going through. That's all I have to say about it for now. I'll check back in a few months and let you know how I'm doing.

P.S. Hey, today's date is 1/11/11 - cool!

Haiku of the Day

Just picked a random image from Google to inspire my poem today.

what rosy petals
much like tender little tongues

lapping up the rain ~

Be With Me

when the rest of the world is cold
empty of the love you need
be with me
when darkness falls around you
and you can no longer see
be with me
when things don’t go the way they should
and you need a place to breathe
be with me,
just be with me
and face your troubles as a “we” ~

Copyright ©2011 Angela Schofield