I've never been cognizant of it up until now but apparently I have a strict, ritualistic way of eating Oreo cookies. Before I dunk the cookie into the milk I always hold it so that the word "Oreo" embossed onto the cookie is aligned perfectly parallel to the surface of the milk, right side up of course. Then I dunk the cookie exactly half way so the horizon of the milk makes a line bisecting the word "Oreo" with eyeball precision. Once I feel it's been properly soaked, I will bite off only the soggy bottom half. How I eat the top half of the cookie varies, but the ritual regarding the bottom is faithfully followed every time. This explains why I always seem to miss so much of the TV shows and movies I watch while eating Oreos - my attention is focused on the ritual.
This is how I discovered my strange habit: Tonight I happened to be watching a movie in the semi-dark. I was straining my eyes and moving the cookie around to find enough light to make out the word "Oreo" when the realization of what I was doing suddenly hit me. What the hell am I doing? Why am I straining in the dark to read a cookie, why can't I just dunk it and eat it like a normal person? When did this blog become about my neurotic idiosyncrasies? Anyway, I try dunking it like a normal human being, and I can do it but... it feels about as comfortable as walking into a department store without a purse on my shoulder. While wearing no pants.
This is odd.
Sure, I've noticed other quirky ritualistic behaviors before and have always known I had a wee touch of the OCD, but how did I not notice the Oreo thing before now? When did it start? I don't eat them all that often but I'm pretty sure it's been going on for years. Do I have rituals regarding other foods that I'm unaware of? Hmmm.
By the by, the movie I'm watching is The Fugitive Kind (1960) starring the gorgeous Marlon Brando (of course!). This is the third time I've seen the movie and believe it or not I don't just enjoy watching it because it's saturated with Brando's languid sensuality and quiet, brooding sex appeal. I'm quite surprised at how sexual the themes and dialogue are for that era. Women are shamelessly throwing themselves at Val Xavier (Brando) throughout the movie, competing for his affection, seeking in him a kind of sexual balm for their sadness and loneliness. These are some of the saucier lines in chronological order.
Carol: Please let me, let me... (she's trying to undress him)
Xavier: Who are you trying to fool besides yourself? (he wraps his hand tightly around her wrist) What is this, a human wrist with a bone? It feels like a twig, I could snap it with two fingers. Little girl, a man who'd hold himself against you would break you like a bundle of sticks.
Xavier: You know that girl that was here?
Lady: Uh-huh, Carol Cutrere... I know her.
Xavier: Well she told me she had something wrong with her car and could I fix it.
Lady: Did you fix it?
Xavier: That wasn't her trouble.
Lady: No. What was her trouble?
Xavier: Oh, she made a mistake about me.
Lady: What kind of mistake?
Xavier: She thought I had a sign hung on me "Male at Stud"
Lady: (she stutters and stammers, obviously flustered)
(Lady is cold so Xavier puts his jacket around her shoulders.)
Lady: It feels warm alright.
Xavier: It's probably warm from my body. (he seductively caresses his own chest)
Lady: You must be a warm-blooded boy. (warily she backs up to cushion the distance between them)
Xavier to Lady: (after boasting about how warm his body always is and how much self control he has over his body) They say that a woman can burn a man down, but I can burn a woman down.
(Xavier is waiting on two teenage girls helping them try on shoes)
Girl #1: Mr. Xavier, where have you been keeping yourself? You ought to show yourself around more.
Girl #2: (embarrassed giggles)
Girl #1: Oh shoot, Mr. Xavier understands, don't you Mr. Xavier? (She puts a foot between his legs and slides down to give him an up-skirt view)
Girl #2: (more giggles)
Xavier: Yeah, I understand. (he stands up and walks away)
(lots more giggles)
All that happens in the first 55 minutes and the dialogue gets racier from there. You almost expect it to build to an actual sex scene, but of course it only hints at it as Val kisses Lady's neck and then escorts her behind the curtain to his room and turns off the light.
When I say this film is saturated with Brando, I'm not exaggerating. He dominates the hell out of it with several close-ups during lengthy scenes and one seemingly endless soliloquy that could easily be cut in half, and seemingly an appearance in just about every frame. I for one enjoy the pacing though, it allows for a slow build. Seeing the relationships between the characters develop and mature from beginning to end is satisfying. However, the director Sidney Lumet seems to be so in love with Brando that I'm surprised he pointed the camera at the other actors at all. Or perhaps it was the editor who was mesmerized by his beautiful face and couldn't bring himself to cut it out of the film. But the most likely scenario, the producers wanted to get the most screen-time-bang (so to speak) for their buck. They had the most bankable actor in Hollywood and they were paying him an unprecedented $1 million dollars. I guess they were determined to get their money's worth and they did. Whatever the reason for Brando's extended screen time, I'm not complaining, nah-uhh, no way. *grin*
Besides all the hubba hubba Brando-rama there's much to like about this adaptation of Tennessee Williams's play Orpheus Descending. Although it's considered one of Williams's lesser works, I happen to like it immensely. Far more than the film version of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, which was the equivalent of Nails on a Squeaky Chalkboard to me. You couldn't pay me to watch it a second time - and that statement carries a lot of weight coming from a person who's unemployed and broke. That movie seemed to have everything going for it out the gate though, it was based on a solid play and had a great cast, but somehow the final product fell way short of it's potential. Did anyone else want to smack the crap out of those bratty ginger kids and their munchkin-faced harpy of a mother? Sorry, I've rambled way off topic, where was I? Oh yeah, I also found the performances in Fugitive spectacular. There are obvious flaws with the film that annoy me, but overall I still think it's a great movie and one I can watch and re-watch. I think it reaches me on some level I'm not even aware of. Maybe I can relate to the lonely outsider aspect or the fact that everyone wants to jump Brando's beefy bod, who knows. I can only give this film one star for Oreo-worthiness though. Because the sparse lighting that creates its dark, murky atmosphere also makes it quite difficult for the audience to read ..err.. I mean see their Oreos and other tasty snacks. So now if you ever go out and rent this flick you'll be prepared. What would you do without me? You're welcome.
P.S. I think Marlon Brando has sparked the return of my "writing phase", in which I can ramble on and on about anything and everything, because clearly this has become two posts in one. Double your pleasure, double your fun! You're welcome again.
P.P.S. If I weren't broke I'd offer $50 to anyone who e-mails me in proof they made it all the way to the bottom of this post. Ha! Sometimes you just gotta laugh at yourself.
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