In most cases the pain in one’s lifetime is in direct proportion to the pleasure. Life tends to seek equilibrium although sadly, sometimes there’s none to be found.
This is something I’ve always believed. My life certainly seems to follow a pattern of equally proportionate ups and downs. These thoughts and many more like them have come to the surface recently during my imaginary conversations with Marlon Brando. You may want to stop reading and call the loony bin at this point, I’d understand completely. For those brave enough to read on, I'll try to explain. When I read, I always read more than one book at a time in case one gets too tedious. I like variety. The two books I happen to be reading at the moment: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger and Conversations with Marlon Brando by Lawrence Grobel. Any inkling where my imagination has taken me? Ah, it's true, a vivid imagination is better than any book!
I’ve actually been doing a lot of reading on Mr. Brando lately (in between time travel visits to the 1950's) and overall, I find him to be an absolutely fascinating human being. Forgive me if I speak of him as if he’s still alive, I’ve only just now discovered him and through the books, movies, and my own fantastical imagination it feels as if he’s still very much here. Surely a man of that magnitude couldn’t be mortal and die! And in some ways he isn’t and hasn't. In some ways the man he was will always live on, as evidenced by the fact that a woman has discovered him and delved in to learn as much about him as possible a full 6 years after his death. 100 years, 200 years from now it will still be happening.
Marlon Brando is an absolutely electrifying personality with an immense hunger for life. Infinitely mercurial, he seems to possess everything in vast quantities: talent, charisma, confidence, rebelliousness, passion, generosity, intelligence, curiosity, humor, courage, unintentional leadership, wit, compassion, charm, magnetism, sensuality, intensity, ego, pomposity, cruelty, perversion, insecurity, laziness, anger, indifference, eccentricity, gluttony... I could go on but you get the picture. To me his great many flaws are just as intriguing as his great many strengths. And the fact that he's blind to his sometimes absurd hypocrisy is what makes him real and frail and human to me. If he wasn't so ridiculously out of touch and lacking self-awareness at times I may be tempted to believe him a God.
I’m also intrigued by the way his mind works, flowing seamlessly from philosophy, to history, to human rights, to politics, to environmental issues, to trivial miscellany, and beyond. To attempt to marginalize him by classifying him as nothing more than an actor or spoiled Hollywood celebrity is a gross injustice. He’s a better-rounded individual than most, far more than a man with his magnitude of fame and fortune need be. His curiosity is boundless, he has a sharp mind with a memory for detail and he seems to be well-informed and have well-formed opinions on just about everything. A philanthropist and activist, he seems to live and breath for the causes he's passionate about.
I think for him acting comes as easily and naturally as breathing, although early on he did work hard and study hard to create his characters and memorize his lines, it's always been easier for him than most. To the middle-aged Brando acting can be a somewhat fun challenge if the role is different, unusual, and interesting enough, but it's primarily a lucrative hobby and a bore. It's a means to make a living, but by no means a passion. All the same, Marlon Brando is widely considered a genius in his field. His acting style dramatically and permanently changed the profession and he is often referred to as the greatest actor of all time. I think he would feel differently about his profession if he weren't so embittered and repulsed by the games played in Hollywood - the business of making money at any moral cost, the greedy capitalism of the studio moguls that managed to suck all the artistic lifeblood out of the profession, and the lower-life leeches infringing constantly on his private life. I believe that's how he saw it anyway, once he became disillusioned.
Unlike many entertainers, Brando doesn't require the limelight, awards, or adoration of fans to fill a void of self love, confidence, or who knows what. What insecurities he does have, instilled by his alcoholic, constantly disapproving and/or absent parents, he supplements with self-challenge to learn and master new things, endless romantic endeavors and sexual conquests, and yes, food. The man loves to eat. He strikes me as someone who truly doesn't care what others think of him because he manufactures his own esteem, his own happiness, and his own destiny, all in his own way. At other times, it seems as though deep down he cares too much. I think he was forced to believe in himself from a very early age because no one else did. In his adolescent quest to prove to himself and his parents that he wasn't a loser, he found he excelled at a great many things and created a nice confident swagger for himself. Later on, cracks appeared as he wavered between arrogance and self-doubt. Deep down he believed he was a fraud, an imposter. He resented and rebelled against authority as a youth and that never changed. He always had an impishness about him and never really grew up. His dysfunctional parents are mostly to blame for the stunted growth among other psychological problems. I think he is a deeply feeling and emotional person underneath his tough exterior of cool indifference. I think the indifference is mostly a self-defense mechanism. Something the hoardes of imitators of the "Brando cool" are clueless about. That's one reason he felt like such an imposter. I think he bores very easily. I think he genuinely enjoys his own company at times, endlessly amusing himself with his own little games, pranks, and competitions. At other times he needs someone there to fill the emptiness he feels inside, to entertain him, to lean on and to confide in about his deepest secrets and insecurities. Even so, I think he has a vast internal life most of the people surrounding him know nothing about. I think those private internal goings-on combined with his superior, smug expression of the cat who ate the canary, create an aura of mystery. It seems he knows something we do not, perhaps a secret joke, and we are dying to find out what it is. And even though I know it's just an illusion, a shiny lure, I still proceed wanting to find out what he knows. And that my friends, is the gravitational pull that draws people into his orbit.
I surmise that because of his need to prove himself and his compulsive need to be right, and perhaps just because he's bored and it amuses him, he may toy around a great deal with the minds and hearts of others. Surely the traits that make him such an amazing actor: the intrinsic charm, intelligence, and understanding of what makes people tick, must also provide him with a devastating talent for manipulation and seduction. I don't recall reading any specific stories but I can just imagine him using his powers to manipulate his co-stars, directors, or anyone else on set. For example, if someone is competitive and worried Marlon will steal the scenes he may say and do little things like mumble an insult under his breath just before they film a scene to throw that person off kilter. Or if his female lead is too awestruck by him to give a good performance I could see him being an asshole to her between takes in order to ground her and have that tension transferred into something magic on-screen. Likewise if a female lead didn't like him (which I find hard to imagine) I could see him turning on all his charm off-screen and winning her over, probably even bedding her, only to break her heart the minute filming stopped. But like I said, I haven't read any specific accounts, I'm just theorizing based on my impression of him. I imagine if you are in the sunshine of Marlon Brando's attention and affection it's as if you are the only person who exists for him and you are up in the clouds soaking in the rays. But once he lets go, it must be a cold, harsh, painful drop back down to earth.
And while he is, to quote Sidney Lumet, Director of The Fugitive Kind, “Just about the most beautiful thing God ever created.” it’s obvious to me that the majority of his beauty and sex appeal smolders from within. He erotically embodies the perfect balance of masculine and feminine, strength and vulnerability, heated passion and cool control. He oozes sex without even trying. He has a fluid sexuality and easily seduces scores of women and men. He has no shame, and in fact seems proud of his bisexuality and ability to have any man or woman he wants. His beauty rivals even the most lovely of women and he has a knack for making whoever he’s standing next to seem homely and insignificant. I swear I saw a photo of him with Grace Kelly, arguably the most radiantly beautiful woman ever to grace Hollywood, and in his presence she appeared a moth next to a butterfly. Even Marilyn Monroe's vivaciousness seems to pale when standing next to that gorgeous hunk of man. I've also noticed that because he has such a large and commanding presence he often seems much taller than his actual height of 5’10”. A few times I would've sworn he was a head taller than someone, and when I go back and find the photo I see he's actually the same height or even a couple inches shorter.
My thought at the beginning of this post was roused from a forgotten past by Brando. In fact I've seen a lot of similarities and parallels between him and myself, which is probably why I feel so drawn to him. I've had a lot of mood swings, ups and downs, and I recall when I was feeling the ecstatic high that I'd suddenly have a moment of dread, a pang in the knowledge that the deep gorge that lay on the other side would be just as intense. It seemed I'd always have to pay the price for that emotional high and I prayed to live somewhere in the middle as it seemed most people did. Brando too seemed to pay the price for all the highs, the pleasures, the gluttony, and in the end perhaps the neglect of his family too. In his later years he suffered pain and heartbreak on a scale that likely far surpassed any comeuppance he may have deserved. Life ain't fair. And it's a real shame, but I don't think he'd go back and change much if he could. He once said he thought guilt and regret were useless emotions. With all the tragedy befalling his family, I hope for his sake that he continued subscribing to that belief right up until the very end.
Marlon Brando Jr. died July 1, 2004 at the age of 80 from complications of pneumonia and other health problems. At the end he refused life saving measures as he felt it was time to go and wanted to leave on his own terms. At his request his family scattered his ashes mingled with those of Wally Cox, a close childhood friend, over Death Valley and Tahiti. Marlon and Wally were very close throughout their lives and Marlon was devastated by Wally's sudden death in 1973. He secretly kept his ashes hidden in his closet, and had often talked to them over the years. No one knows for sure, but it seems obvious to me that Wally was the love of Marlon's life. He was once quoted as saying "If Wally Cox had been a woman I would have married him and we would have lived happily ever after." It seems the world-renowned "bad boy" lothario believed in true love after all. Not a surprising revelation from this sensitive and complicated man. He lived and died by his own rules, setting precedents, blazing trails, and leaving an indelible legacy on the world he so desperately wanted to change for the better.
It occurs to me now that in this post I frequently compared him to the sun or described him as having characteristics of the sun. It was an unintentional recurring theme but testimony to the fact that he truly was a luminescent human being, generating and radiating from within his own light and heat for the whole world to bask in. There are more things I could say about Marlon Brando, but it’s probably nothing that hasn’t already been said. The beauty of his effect on me personally is that he has somehow awoken me. He’s awoken my passion for life, and..um..other things, and reading his profound words has stimulated my practically comatose mind back into intelligent thought. To steal a line from Stephanie Meyer's The Twilight Saga, I guess he's become "my own personal sun" at the moment. If he can do all this after death, just imagine the power he had in life. It’s no wonder few could ever resist him.
Even the kitty-cat can't resist his seductive charms :)
Okay, okay I'll stop bombarding you with all the Brando-licious beauty now. By the by, I own no rights to these photos and have shamelessly scavenged them and hundreds more like them from the internet. So if you're ever in need of a Brando fix, I can hook ya up ;)
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