Fumbling

This post is really just me thinking out loud. I'm confused about my writing style. Spewing out my writing insecurities and frustrations helps me process them. And recording it on the blog ensures that I'll be able to come back and find it for future reference. Maybe someone will even stumble upon it and offer advice.

In the past I've been told my writing is mechanically sound but boring, bland, banal, devoid of heart and wit. The only reason this critique is bothering me lately is because I think there's some truth to it. There's no doubt my writing comes from a genuine place in regards to emotion, but it's lacking punch. That's why I keep pushing myself, trying to take it even farther and see what else I'm capable of. I think part of the problem is imagination, I sometimes have trouble seeing outside the box, seeing things through my own eyes and describing them with my own voice instead of imitating others. Maybe I just haven't found my voice yet.

Another issue is my vocabulary. I often use very formal, almost technical language mixed with antiquated, romantic language. I'm also too verbose and repetitive. I have to agree that I can take the most deeply stirring topic and make it sound cold, clinical, uninteresting, zzzzzzzzzzz. The dead poets used formal language and for the most part their writing is still very compelling. I dunno, I'd like to think that I can still stretch my limits and grow as a writer. Because I really enjoy doing it, I just enjoy it a lot more when it's good. Same goes for my singing, it's no fun if it sounds like nails on chalkboard. Like all artistic forms of expression, when it's really good, the timing is right and everything comes together perfectly to create something extraordinary. It gives us chills, it gives others chills. It's a spiritual experience, one we keep chasing and trying to replicate.

So here I am, fumbling in darkness towards the raw and visceral. No matches, no compass - just the words of Angelou, Whitman, and Thoreau for guidance. Words I cling to with fervor.