The True Calling of Oscar Wilde

Preface: This post was originally outlined in my mind to discuss how reading my old writing had revealed that on some level I wanted to be known, poignantly quoted, and remembered for my writing one day - like Oscar Wilde or something. But as I started writing the post it quickly turned into a different type of self-discovery when I realized that my true calling has always been teaching. Strange how things never seem to work out the way we plan.

I've been going through some of my old writing lately and came across something titled "A Variety of Poems & Wisdom", apparently compilations of short poems and personal quotations in two volumes *chuckle*. Reading them takes me back in time. Thoughts and feelings flood in and grab hold to their former places, momentarily dragging me back to the person I once was. I usually wrote for myself, rarely sharing my writing with anyone. Yet looking at some of the stuff I wrote I now recall a sense of expectation or hope, for lack of a better word, that someone would one day read my words and gain something from them.

But I never aspired to make a living out of writing. In fact, I never aspired to be anything in particular. Unlike the young boy who dreams of being an astronaut or the little girl who wants to be a lawyer and nothing else, I never knew what I wanted to be. I was too busy listening to The Beatles at deafening volumes in my headphones to hear my calling. But in junior high I was made to take an aptitude test and the results indicated I should be a nurse or doctor. So I was sent to The North Memorial Trauma Explorers at the age of 13 and became involved with them and various other emergency medical organizations for many years. It wasn't a calling but rather an opportunity presented to me. I liked it and was good at it so, what the heck, I went with it. Over the next 20 years I worked in a variety of fields, but none were completely fulfilling and it was obvious that I had missed my true calling, or simply didn't have one.

But now, writing this and looking back on my life I can see something, a pattern jumps out at me. For as far back as I can remember I think I felt a deep tug towards teaching. Many children grow up emulating their teachers, but I was more enthusiastic* about it than most (*read "obsessed"). I remember dressing up in over-sized ruffled blouses and floor-length skirts, and of course accessorizing with bangle bracelets, long beaded necklaces, and eyeglass frames with missing lenses. I'd improvise a pointer with a back-scratcher or whatever stick I could find, and pace the room giving long, eloquent lectures to my imaginary pupils. Recently I cleaned out our old playroom and found "grade books" where I recorded my students' marks. Sadly, my handwriting hasn't changed much since then.

As my primary areas of interest (and majors in college) changed over the years from Music, to Medicine, to English, to Psychology, etc, etc. I think I pictured myself ultimately teaching in those fields. I never got a teaching degree, but always slid naturally into the mentor/teacher role no matter what type of work I was doing. For extra cash, as a second job, I was a CPR/First Aid Instructor for many years. And in almost every other job I ever held I became a mentor/trainer of some sort, either officially or unofficially. As of right now I am volunteering for the Hennepin County Library system. One of my volunteer roles is as an assistant instructor for computer classes offered to the public. So, looking at the trail of facts and evidence, it overwhelmingly points to the conclusion that I should have gone for that teaching degree. But even without the degree and unbeknownst to me, I've kind of been answering the call to teach by the way I live my life.

So now, getting back on my original train of thought, I share with you some excerpts from "A Variety of Poems & Wisdom", not-so-famous quotes from the girl who didn't want to be a writer but secretly hoped to be well known as one, and who was meant to be a teacher but didn't know it. Enjoy.

Candy without sugar is as pointless as life without love; but life without chocolate is unimaginable.

Whether it be a new car or a lesson learned in life, to gain something valuable we all must pay its price.

It's in discovering what we are truly capable of that we discover who we are.

To live beneath your true potential is to waste a precious gift.

It is when we go through the dark times that we are closest to seeing the light. Growing is just a matter of letting your eyes adjust and your soul expand.

If ever you are doubting your purpose in this world - it is to learn, laugh, love, dream, and to never, ever give up.

We are, every one of us, both student and teacher; the world is our classroom and there is no graduation but for death.

Perfection is boring. To learn, grow, and struggle to improve is what makes life interesting. It's why God gave us flaws.

We are born with all the tools we need to be happy in this life. The trick is to look for them within. Some discover the treasure sooner than others.

Better late than never huh? It seems I always learn something while writing, sometimes the lesson is just more obvious and immediate. I could prattle on but I'm going out to dinner with my gramma and it isn't wise to keep her waiting. (I think I just came up with another golden nugget of wisdom to add to the volumes! hehe)


"It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it."
Oscar Wilde

5/25/14 - My work still involves teaching. I work with vulnerable adults who have developmental disabilities and I teach them how to live more independent and healthy lives. Every day I'm teaching them something, from the smallest things like how to organize emails or pay a bill online, to cooking from a recipe. All in all though I think they teach me more than I teach them. I've been very depressed this last year and when your mind is enveloped in darkness like that it's hard to be optimistic or grateful. They teach me to be both. A far more important lesson than anything I've ever taught them.